Friday, August 1, 2008

Demolition Derby Night Two

NIGHT TWO

The show opens with Jin Haisha in the ring, looking as if he was hit by a truck. Which would have probably been less painful than what actually happened. It seems like a miracle he’s even in the ring right now. Instead of Sam S. McCloud’s music, though, the boss himself, OctoberRaven, steps out into the arena with a microphone and a hat.

OR: Well, Jin... Good news and bad news. Bad news is, Sam S. McCloud couldn’t make it tonight. He called in sick due to... and I’m quoting here... “Pac Man Fever”. But I know you wanted to wrestle tonight, to here’s the good news: Before the show, I got everyone backstage who doesn’t have a match tonight to put their names into a hat. The person who gets drawn will be your opponent.

OR digs through the hat, and pulls out a slip of paper. Then does a double take, DROPPING THE HAT in the process.

OR: I have no idea what he’s doing backstage... but well, today is your lucky day it seems. Bring out Jakob Furis!

"Trans-Transylvanian Orchestra" hits the speakears as Jakob Furis comes out to ringside. The fans immediately burst into laughter with a notable few actually having to seek medical attention when Furis attempts to act tough in defiance of their taunting. Worse yet for local health officials, Furis grabs a mic!


Furis: "IT is I, the evil Count Jakob Furis!!"

Furis surveys the crowd and actually sees a few fans in tears (laughing).

Furis: "YES! Some of you know me vell and are in shambles at my arrival in Demolition Pro Wrestling!"Furis moves his finger slowly across his throatFuris: "And vhat a perfect name for a promotion about to be demolished by my evil!!”AM: Jakob Furis in DPW... and how ironic that he ends up facing Haisha.

XS: And if it were anyone else I’d say Haisha still has an uphill battle, but let’s face it, Haisha would have to take ANOTHER beating from Monster Takeshi just to make this a fair fight.


Furis: "And I come bearing even MORE bad news, Sam S McCloud does NOT have "Pac Man Fever!"

Furis looks at the crowd with his eyes wide-open as if he just said the MOST shocking thing humankind has ever heard. When they don't seem to buy his grandstanding, he just acts as if they did

Furis: "He has 'FURIS fever!' The veason McCloud is not here is that he has been overcome by FEAR! He vestles in UBL just like me and vhen he realized how close he was to being in the arena on the same night as the mighty Furis, he FLED! But he vill not be safe for long, NO ONE is safe vhen Furis is on the hunt!"

Furis punctuates this with a fearsome look but then after a few seconds, looks around somewhat confused. He mouths to offstage technicians: "vhere's the thunder effects?" they just roll their eyes at him and he attempts to get his little speech back on topic.

Furis: "Um, yes! And the next man who vill fear Furis vill be Jin Haisha!"

Some of the fans with "Takeshi" shirts begin chanting "MONSTER, MONSTER"

Furis: "YES! You now see me for vhat I am! A vicious monster who vill tear apart Jin!!

AM: Denial is the first step of coping with your own death you know.

Furis: "Jin Haisha, on this night you vill fall to Furis and the vorld vill experience my eternal bloody reign! As such, do not look at this as the DAWNING of a new era as much as the DUSKING of a new one ...

The fans just about lose it at "DUSKING" and drown Furis out in laughter at this point. He throws the mic down and runs to the ring in frustration, hoping to inspire fear with his actions.

OPENING MATCH: JIN HAISHA VS JAKOB FURIS

The bell rings as soon as Furis enters, and the Count immediately gets DECKED by a Haisha lariat to a STANDING OVATION by the crowd. Haisha, pumped up by the support of the fans, lifts Furis to his feet and delivers a flurry of chops before slamming Furis onto the canvas... but his adrenaline rush is overcome by the injuries sustained from last night and he collapses to the canvas. Furis, believing Haisha has fainted, immediately sets for “Furis’ Happy Meal”, but Haisha manages to fight Furis off, rolling out of the ring. Furis starts FLAPPING HIS ARMS as if he’s trying to fly and goes to the ropes for a pescado... that misses Haisha by a foot and a half. Haisha shrugs and rolls Furis back into the ring, delivering a pair of elbow drops before going to the corner, stamping his feet!

AM: Superkick time!

Haisha once again fell victim to his injuries and misstepped on his way to Furis, who immediately took advantage, grabbing Jin by the throat and CHOKESLAMMING him into the canvas! Furis himself is suprised that this worked as he trips over his own feet landing on Haisha! One, two, three! The bell rings and Furis is like “I von?!”.

XS: ...Wow. I... just... wow... this is a joke right?

AM: I don’t think so. Jakob Furis has actually WON. Granted, it was against Jin Haisha who can’t even beat a crab in Rock-Paper-Scissors, and Haisha was seriously hurting from his match last night, but still!

XS: Well Furis is doing laps around the ring... and the boss who’s been watching the whole time has a mic.

OR: Hey Furis... you do know Juli Kreiger’s here too right?

Furis then nearly BREAKS THE SOUND BARRIER as he runs through the crowd and out the door!

AM: Well, before we continue the Demolition Derby tournament, on behalf of everyone here in DPW I’d like to thank OrochiGeese for allowing some of his UBL talent to compete over this weekend. Tomorrow night Jin Haisha faces another UBL wrestler, “The British Powerhouse” Reynold Anderson.

Demolition Derby Tournament- Block B Round One
FIRST MATCH- FRANK DESMOND VS GENOCIDE


Genocide and Desmond immediately lock up and Genocide immediately attempts to take him down for a wakigatame but Desmond rolls through and gets a headscissors. Genocide goes for a headstand escape, but Desmond also rolls to his feet to hit an elbow to the face, which is answered by elbow smashes that ROCK Desmond, and then Genocide goes to the ropes and hits the Forearm to the Throat knocking him onto the canvas. A knee drop misses and Desmond hits a running back elbow as the shooter gets to his feet. Desmond then prepares for a Chokeslam but Genocide ducks and hits a kneelkick to the back of the head!

XS: Genocide Kick!

Genocide then goes for a chokeout, but Desmond rolls over so Genocide’s shoulders hit the canvas, forcing the break to prevent a pin. Genocide hits a Kenka Kick and delivers a series of punches from the mount until the ref forces a break. Genocide would go for a Roaring Elbow but would get caught with a Chokeslam! The cover, one, two, three!

AM: And that vicious chokeslam out of nowhere defeats one of the most brutal athletes in DPW. He can do that out of nowhere and everyone in the tournament better remember that if they want to win it all.

XS: Also, I think this is the first time that two matches have ended with chokeslams in DPW history.

AM: Hooray for pointless firsts!

MATCH TWO: YOSHIRO TENMAKU vs ???

Tenmaku enters the ring first, and the sounds of “God Send Death” by Slayer interrupts as a man wearing black tights and an Oakland Raiders jersey marches down the ramp

Ring Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, making his return to the ring from injury, from Oakland California weighting in at 265 pounds, Joe “Danger” Smith!

XS: Joe “Danger” Smith! Former multi-time world champion, had some serious wars with our champion Corey O’Brian, this man is definately a force to be reckoned with.

Smith charges into the ring and smashes an elbow right in the face of Tenmaku, shoving him in the corner and delivering a series of knees and slams Tenmaku in the canvas stomping him senseless and delivering a big leg drop.

AM: This is what you got to expect from Smith, an all-out flurry of offense.

Smith would throw Tenmaku into the ropes, and began to duck down but Tenmaku would leapfrog him and Smith would turn around right into a jumping sobat! Tenmaku then got to the top rope and delivered a flawless moonsault for a two count. Yoshiro would pick Smith up who would wrap his arms around the waist of Tenmaku and throw him like a ragdoll with a belly to belly!

XS: Smith was a former NCAA All-American Linebacker, who was signed into the Raiders but was banned from the NFL when he almost killed a teammate during PRACTICE.

Tenmaku would slowly get to his feet, and would get BLASTED with a vicious spear, hooking the leg. One, two, three.

AM: He calls that the Blitz and nobody gets up from it! Smith makes quick work of his first opponent.

MATCH THREE: MIKE BLOOD vs ROBERT GEMINI

Gemini seems obviously reluctant to get in the ring with Blood, and the referee begins to count to 20.

XS: Mike Blood would love to lay a beating on Chris Koger’s disciple to send a message to the man that cheated a victory out of him at Holy Wars.

Gemini eventually rolls back into the ring, delivering a flying forearm which only rocks Blood a bit. A second attempt is swatted down, and Blood delivers a fist drop to the abdomen and went for a second before Gemini rolled out of the ring. Robert would pick Blood up and deliver a snap suplex and a leg lock but Blood would roll to the ropes. Gemini grabbed Blood by the leg for a dragon screw next but Blood would push Gemini off with his leg, and then hit a Bloody Wizard! The cover, two, kickout. Mike would deliver a belly to belly followed by a vertical suplex next, but Gemini would recover with a series of chops and a DDT for a nearfall of his own. He would attempt a Falling Star, but Blood back body dropped out of it and nailed a Penalty Kick. Cover, two, kickout.

AM: Gemini really showing some heart here.

Gemini would recover and hit a flying back elbow, rolling to his feet as Blood stumbled and nailed a basement dropkick to the back of the knee taking the Razorback down. He delivered a pair of elbow drops then lifted Blood for a snap suplex and floated over for the pin, one, two, kickout. Gemini would go for a scoop but Blood slipped out the backdoor and Gemini turned around... LARIATOOOOOOOOO! One, two, three!

AM: Whoa! Gemini never saw that lariat coming! Blood can hit that at any time, and that might prove to be the key to his victory.

MATCH FOUR: REIKA vs Jintaro Mazaki

Jintaro and REIKA began throwing leg kicks at each other, and then Jintaro would move in for an armdrag, REIKA going back to her feet and giving Jintaro an armdrag of her own, ducking a sweep kick from Jintaro before hitting him with a sobat. A stunned Jintaro would back into the corner where REIKA would deliver a running dropkick and after Mr. J hit the mat she followed up with a flip senton!

XS: REIKA pulling out all the stops here.

REIKA tosses Jintaro into the ropes but he counters and leapfrogs her, and doesn’t turn around, but as soon as REIKA comes his way he delivers a J-Cutter! He lifted her back up and delivered a snap suplex and went to the top to deliver a big knee drop! REIKA would roll to the floor to get her wind back but Jintaro would charge at her with a dive over the ropes! Mr. J rolled her back into the ring before going back in to cover, one, two, kickout.

AM: REIKA has a ton of heart and energy but Mr. J’s offense can take the wind out of any sails.

Jintaro would deliver the J-Rush and spin her around for a J-Germany but REIKA managed to lower her center of gravity and counter into a victory roll-like prawn hold for a nearfall. REIKA then hit a flying lariat and went up high for a REIKA DiveBomb but Jintaro got up and tried to set her up for an avalanche J-Cutter, but REIKA would block it and do a facecrusher off the top rope! A stunned Jintaro would then fall prey to a Northern Lights Suplex, one, two, three!

XS: I just realized something Angus.

AM: You did too, huh?

XS: Yeah... REIKA is going to face her boyfriend Frank Desmond in round two!

AM: Well next up folks, the Satanic Legion defend their tag team titles. Tonight they face the tandem of Thomas Clarke and Kevin Williams, Anarchy in the UK.

TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: ANARCHY IN THE UK VS SATANIC LEGION(c)

Kevin Williams starts this match against Eric Gacy, delivering a charging forearm to Williams and shoving him into the corner to deliver punches in the corner but Raiku Daisatsu makes a blind tag and enters the ring, backdropping Williams into the center of the ring, and the Legion would tandem stomps until the official puts Gacy in the corner. The damage was done and Williams would be pummeled by knee drop after knee drop, then Daisatsu would pick him up and easily slam him into the canvas. Wiliiams got up and Raiku elbowed him in the face and put Williams’ arms into the ropes making him vulnerable to closed fists. Clarke would try to enter the ring, but the referee would stop him, allowing Gacy to apply a choke as Raiku delivered a series of body shots.

AM: Williams getting double teamed by the tag team champions.

Gacy would get back in his corner as the ref paid attention to the ring as Daisatsu would free Williams only to deliver a backbreaker and tag to Gacy who would do a jumping fist drop for a two count. Williams would escape a suplex attempt and try to get to his corner but Gacy grabbed him by the tights and tossed him back to the Legion’s half of the ring, then hit a shoulderbreaker following up with an elbow drop.

XS: Williams has done NOTHING so far since that opening flurry and I’m sure that Anarchy In The UK want to have a tag to let Williams get some time to recover.

Gacy would set Williams up so he was laying belly first on the top rope of the neutral corner, running back to the corner before wheeling around and delivering a running boot that punted Williams to the floor!

AM: Usually that’s called the Spike Through Your Head, but I guess this is the Spike Through Your Body this time.

The referee began the count as Clarke would go to the floor to try to help out his partner, but Daisatsu would cut him off with a lariat, then lift Williams up and deliver a Death Valley Bomb onto the floor before rolling Williams back in the ring. Gacy covers: One, two, kickout! Gacy would pick Williams up and go for the Black Spiral Dance but Williams would slip out in mid-spin and dive for his corner... but Clarke was still on the floor! Gacy tagged out to Daisatsu, who would deliver a running knee to Williams and set up for a Satanic Offering, but Williams would backdrop out, run to the ropes and hit an Anarchy Stomp before getting to his corner as Clarke gets up... TAG! Clarke would charge at Raiku with a shoulder tackle, then hit a snap suplex and a Her Majesty’s Backdrop before applying a half crab. Daisatsu would get to the ropes and Clarke would pull him up for a scoop slam then go to the top rope.... flying elbow! One, two, kickout! Daisatsu would tag out to Gacy and roll out the ring as Gacy hit a kitchen sink followed by a DDT. Daisatsu would then pull Williams off of the apron and hit him with the Satanic Offering! While the referee tried to get Raiku to stop, Gacy would RIP OFF the turnbuckle padding without even untying it!

AM: Wow... that’s one strong dude to pull off that padding that easily.

Thomas would charge to Gacy for a London Bomber but Gacy moved away, Clarke hitting the exposed steel, setting up for the Black Spiral Dance! Ref turns around to see the pin: One, Two, Three!

DEMOLITION DERBY SECOND ROUND
MATCH ONE: Frank Desmond vs REIKA

Both Desmond and REIKA seem to be hesitant to start this one out, but eventually they would hug in the middle of the ring (‘awww’) and then lock up, jockeying for position. Desmond being the stronger of the two would get an arm drag but REIKA would use her legs to apply a headscissors. Desmond would handstand to escape... standoff. Another lockup and Desmond would fall victim to a REIKA fireman’s carry followed by a chinlock, but Desmond would stand up and go behind with a hammerlock. REIKA would roll forward and grab Desmond’s leg for a shawn capture legbar out of nowhere, but Desmond would roll to the ropes.

XS: Nice even contest so far.

Desmond would go for the chokeslam but REIKA would counter with an armdrag and then a snap suplex going for the DiveBomb but Desmond would roll away and REIKA would break her fall by landing in a roll. Desmond would scoop REIKA up but end up with a reverse DDT to deliver a Britsh Fall, hooking both legs for a cover, one, two, no. REIKA would duck a lariat and roll Desmond with a prawn hold, one, two, no. REIKA would throw Desmond into the ropes for a dropkick and then hit a standing moonsault but Desmond got the knees and went to the apron, springboarding off and hitting the Jackpot Dropkick! REIKA would roll to the floor, and Desmond would check to see if REIKA was okay before going back to the ropes and waiting for REIKA, holding the ropes for her at 13 when she gets back in the ring. After they circled the ring, Desmond would go for a stunner but REIKA would kick him away causing Desmond to go for a chokeslam but once again REIKA scouted it and went behind him for a schoolperson! One, two, three! After "High Speed SAMURAI" sounds, REIKA and Desmond hug in the ring again before leaving arm in arm.

AM: And REIKA advances to night three! We might be not too far removed from being one of the few women to hold a non-women-only championship belt.... and to my knowledge the only to win a World Heavyweight championship!

MATCH TWO: Joe “Danger” Smith vs Mike Blood

Smith and Blood come out swinging in this bout, with Smith being backed into the corner before recovering and go to the ropes before both men would tumble to the floor, while they were STILL slugging it out, before the veteran slammed Blood into the apron headfirst and roll back into the ring, rolling back and mounting Blood to deliver punches before the referee stepped in. Smith would shove the referee down (receiving a warning) and stomp away at Blood before the referee pulled him away again.

AM: Smith’s temper almost caused him a DQ here, I’m sure he wants to win it so maybe he’ll put that attitude in check.

Blood would recover and deliver a Kenka Kick which ROCKS Smith, and Blood would deliver a drop suplex and a deep armdrag before dropping an elbow. Blood would get elbowed in the face and Smith would hit a vertical suplex and drop the point of his knee right in the face of The Razorback then started CHOKING him. He let go at three and threw Blood to the ropes... no, scratch that Blood countered but Smith would deliver a FLYING HEADSCISSORS that takes Blood completely by suprise and to the apron!

XS: WOW, that is a BIG guy to do a move like that.

AM: That’s the kind of athletic ability you’d expect from an NCAA All-American.

Blood got in the ring and ducked a forearm, dropkicking Smith in the leg... BLOODY WIZARD! Cover, two, kickout. Blood would then set up for a powerbomb but Smith would backdrop out, and then set up for a tombstone piledriver but Blood would get the backdoor landing on his feet. He went to the ropes and LARI... no Smith would duck under and both men hit the opposite ropes and met in the middle... BLITZ! One, two, three!

XS: You know, I’d really hate to be in REIKA’s tights right about now.

AM: Well funny you mentioned that because you...

XS: Dude that was in private! Anyways, on to our main event. Remember folks, if O’Brian wins tonight he still has to face Koger AGAIN tommorrow night to finally decide this series, but if Koger wins, he leaves with the title and faces a wrestler from a local indy promotion in an exhibition match in the main event of Night Three instead. Koger debuted an amazing diving rana move that he calls “The Rockets Red Glare”, and O’Brian was working on the arm last night. Let’s see how they approach this battle.

DPW CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH FALL TWO: CHRIS KOGER VS COREY O’BRIAN(c)
Koger leads 1-0


Koger has his right arm bandaged heavily for this match, prompting Corey to deliver a mauy thai kick to the left arm, making Koger back off as you can hear Corey saying, “You think I’m stupid?” An incensed Koger would charge at Corey who would drop down and trip him up with a toehold before quickly transitioning to an Indian Deathlock, dropping down twice before adjusting it into a Muta Lock! Koger would escape to the ropes and to the floor, Corey sitting in the opposite corner as Koger took a walk for a few. Koger gets back in the ring and we have a lockup, Koger getting a headlock and taking Corey over and working the neck. Corey would roll Koger to his shoulders, one, Koger rolled to a seated position, back to his feet, and delivering another takeover. Corey slipped free and applied a seated Crossface Chickenwing but Koger again found the ropes. Koger would knee Corey and deliver a butterfly suplex before floating over for the pin but Corey would get a shoulder up and lock a Kimura from the bottom! Koger would once again go to the ropes and Corey would step off and mime digging a grave!

AM: Corey rarely appeals to the crowd, perhaps he’s trying to send a message to Koger that he’s got this one in the bag.

XS: Corey is a master tactician in the ring, and he knows headgames can mean all the difference in the world.

Koger would hammer O’Brian with a lariat but held his arm, going for a suplex switching to his good arm, though it didn’t look as well executed as he normally does.

AM: I think Corey’s on to something here.

XS: Ah, I see, Koger’s left-handed and he never utilizes his right arm often. Very clever.

Koger would go for a Boston Crab next but O’Brian would power out, and both men got to their feet starting a battle of chops! Corey would eventually take control and set for the Core Meltdown... LOW BLOW! The referee was out of position and didn’t see it, Koger getting up and delivering a belly to belly onto the canvas. Corey holds on to his crotch and the referee checks O’Brian, meanwhile Koger gets something from out of his tights.

AM: Oh no...

Corey manages to get to his feet and nod to the referee that he’s okay, and turns to Koger.... whos holding a small piece of black plastic that spews a liquid into Corey’s eyes! Corey collapses again to the canvas and the ref calls for the bell!

XS: THAT WAS MACE! THAT’S UNCALLED FOR! TOO MUCH OF THAT CAN PERMANENTLY BLIND!

Trainers immediately go to O’Brian’s side, helping him to the back presumably to get his eyes flushed out as Koger gets a mic.

Koger: See, I could have easily beaten O’Brian tonight, and take that title. But Corey... I want to make your inevitable DEFEAT so much more painful for you. Because I know, Corey... I know your family will be in attendance tommorrow night. I am going to HUMILIATE you in front of your father, your mother, your girlfriend, your cousins, and your newborn nephew. They are going to see what a LOSER you are. Because I represent America, and when you fight America, YOU LOSE! And after that point is made to the world, I will wear the DPW title, and finally this company will have a champion they can be proud of!

In a repeat of last night, fans threw trash into the ring as Koger’s theme played as the night came to a close.

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